Dear Ms. Desai,
I was just feeling awful and reading your article on the full moon tonight [Dec. 28th Full Moon in Cancer], desperately waiting for some revelation as to why I feel so awful and what I need to heal and how to go about doing this and I saw this sentence and it immediately began to drive me mad. “Of course the end of the year or Holiday blues tend to catch up with those believing in the “loneliness” story within the mind. (quote from the article)”
I truly need an explanation of what the ‘”loneliness” story within the mind’ is.
I am certainly feeling lonely and would love to be shown somehow that I have fabricated it. Truly. I feel so torn in response to this statement -the majority of me is so desperately wanting to figure out the change that I have to make in order to feel able to connect with people in the way that I want to that I desperately believe that it is always my fault (for lack of a better phrase) that I’m not able to make new relationships.
There is also a smaller part of me that is boiling under the surface, just far enough that I can’t feel it because I guess I don’t want to, that wants to respond to this statement with unadulterated rage that anyone would be so cruel as to say that I’ve forced myself into this situation but I know that in a way I have. And I’m desperately trying to find some compromise between requiring that anyone I allow into my life show respect for who I am and how I would like to be treated and feeling that I cannot seem to find anyone in the world who I can really trust.
What do I do? Do I keep moving from place to place looking forever? Do I just go ahead and trust people who have shown me that they’re not trustworthy? I’m beginning to think I don’t like anyone and I know that isn’t true. I like many people but I can’t seem to connect with them either.
So I saw this and obviously it’s brought up very strong feelings in me and the bottom line is: what do I do? How do I fix myself? What is the delusion I’m experiencing?
Thank you very much for your question in relation to the recent “Dec. 28th – Full Moon in Cancer” Article.” And I do appreciate your honesty about your reaction to the article. I will offer a Spiritual perspective as that is part of the Full Moon in Cancer Article and I do share with from a space of non-judgment and compassion. I am only able to offer a “general” point of view since it is a public setting.
Sometimes the articles that I write inspire and activate. Other times articles that I write tend to trigger and move stuck energies in people. It may push a person’s old perception or conditioning and challenge it to move out of the limitation into expansion. This happens in live event and classes I offer. This is the gift, beauty and Grace of the Spiritual Transmission Energy working through me. It always points to the eternal truth, of one’s true nature as Soul, as love itself. This is the nature of the Spiritual energy that infuses into all that I share with others. Ultimately, it is meant to empower.
Full Moon phases tends to stir up emotional stuff and the one on December 28th was a potent “transformative” energy that very much stirred up core level stuff for people to detox and then flush away so what remains is more higher vibrational energy.
So your intense reaction is no surprise. And the article was a “catalyst for your waking up” to being nudged by your Soul to the next step in becoming responsible for your emotions rather than projecting it at something (article) or someone. Facing the truth than avoiding it. Feeling the feelings and allowing the insight to come from it (insight can’t come through stuck or controlled emotions). Emotional Awareness is a key quality of the sign of Cancer (emotional awareness). — It is right here in front of you, the revelation!
Yet underneath of it all, I can sense you are searching and potentially yearning to go deeper to access who you are beyond the human form (personality) expand love (Soul).
From this basis, each person must remember.. Each individual is Soul experiencing life through the human form. Thus each lesson and learning teaches the individual about Love Consciousness and where the lack, limitation and fear prevents this from happening. Soul is love itself. Therefore you are love at the most core of you. The ego and mind tends to cling to the past or future, the known and even the suffering or pain due to the fact that it is safe. Being in the unknown is very uncomfortable for the egoic mind.
The egoic mind (ego or personality/mind) tends to create, fabricate and reinforce stories to remain in control to stay in the “poor me or separation energy”. This fictitious identity (for the real Self is Soul which is always empowered) controls, dominates and manipulates perception to fit the “Victim Consciousness mode.” When the egoic mind says “it’s my fault” its a distraction. It keeps you feeling dis-empowered and stuck in the “not good enough pattern.” You may be feeling cut off or separated from Source/Divine and Soul. Thus the lack or limitation that comes up around loneliness.
It is not about fault or the right and wrong. It is about evolving and growing and healing. Therefore, perhaps finding the Spiritual solution and key insight that will help you heal the core issue of not feeling worthy.
Denial and resistance to going deeper to address the core issue(s) and to heal requires a person to face it with courage. The more you turn yourself away it prolongs the suffering. Some stories are part of feeding the suffering and pain and the “loneliness” is an illusion. And rage builds under the surface until one day you are not in control and it explodes in a way you may not like.
Ask these types of questions:
What is the purpose of this lesson or experience? What am I learning? What is the Spiritual insight? How can I heal? What do I need to do to be or feel empowered? How can I feel more love? How may I build trust? etc.
Take the perception of “I’m lonely.” This is a false perception. Love is everywhere. All of Life is love. And Life wants to provide more love to each being upon the Earth. The egoic mind may place expectation of “how it expects love to show up or what it means not to be lonely.” Beyond the how one expects love to be in their lives, love is already there. So how can a person be “lonely?” The egoic mind generates this illusion, egoic mind cuts you off from your Soul in favor of physical reality.
For Spiritual reality is non-physical thus uncomfortable for the egoic mind. The story of “loneliness” is like a tiny limited box within the mind and yet there is so much more to life and to experience the wonders and magic. It is not just you, but many people have fallen into this illusion which is a trap of sorts keeping one powerless.
If you realize your true nature is Soul, is love and are inter-connected (like a gorgeous light web) to all of life and the Cosmos, one always feels the love and connection. This is a Universal truth.
Therefore, realize when you or someone else “feels lonely” this is a cry out for YOU to give yourself the love, tenderness and affection. It is a profound signal, your Soul is giving you to pay attention and listen to what needs to be soothed and healed. Fulfill this need and you are on your way. Why wait for “others” to provide this love? You are it, you need to go deeper to access it — within the heart, within your Soul.
Realize the people who have shown up in your life that are “Not Trustworthy” are mirroring or reflecting aspect of yourself. A person keeps attracting similar experiences to help bring awareness and then prompt one to make realistic change so things won’t repeat. What if this is about; You? That perhaps you do not feel you can trust yourself to change something, to draw the line, to take responsibility for emotions, for whatever… you would know.” The anger or rage is most likely at yourself for not being able to make the real change or face the truth to let the energy no longer remain stuck.
You are not broken to be “fixed.” So let that go if possible, it is a false perception and belief. If you look at it from a higher perspective, how can one improve upon beauty of Soul that you are, that each person is? You may need to reclaim your power and heal more than get fixed.
What I would strong suggest to get you in motion: You may need self-knowledge (classes on Spiritual growth and self-discovery), perhaps a private Consultation/Reading to address specific life path needs and issues and healing the past so it no longer overlaps onto the present moment. Working with someone who you feel you trust may provide objectivity and Spiritual support of you being able to see your higher potentials than dwell in negativity within the mind.
1.) The place to start trusting Yourself, Respect Yourself. Listen to Yourself.
2.) To trust that Life itself is benevolent and wants to provide you the best.
3.) Slowly trust others by seeing their actions matching their words. Notice if your actions follow or align with your words too. Are you trustworthy for others?
4.) Most important foundation: Healthy relationship of loving yourself, feeling empowered and trust is expressing from the core of you then extending those qualities to build healthy relationship with Others. It is VERY possible for you to do this. Starts inside first.
How? Taking small actions that follow up intention, changes in behavior or help you keep your word to yourself will begin to create a alignment for you to remain in integrity with your Soul and in love and trust. Then, you are able to feel more confident trusting others. Forgiveness also helps. Forgive yourself for not listening to your gut instincts in the past and stopping a situation before you got hurt. Learn from the past and make changes in your habits or ways right now.
I would say, a part of you really truly wants the change. Your Soul guided you to this article. Thus your “waking up” and triggering such deep emotions is part of the change. So congrats! If you view this entire thing from a Spiritual perspective… there is movement happening for you. Freedom from this pattern or tendency is within reach.
Your feedback is welcome. I do hope this at least offers a bit more clarity and direction.
Wishing you the best,
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